If you’re a member of a raiding guild, you probably have a Raid Leader. I’m going to give you a little bit of insight into the damaged psyche of the tormented soul forced to suffer through that particular hell – for you.
Your Raid Leader probably started out as a nice guy or girl, someone who demonstrated better than average situational awareness and got suckered into a position that tends to appear glamorous from the outside. After a couple of weeks of this kind of torment, though, torn between some form of loyalty to the guild and hope that it might someday get better, the nice guy that your Raid Leader used to be is beginning to wear thin…
And it’s all YOUR fault.
All of those foibles that you used to laugh about with your Raid Leader, if your tenure in guild predates their sentencing, just aren’t funny to one who has been afflicted with the responsibility of making sure that twenty four other people have a successful raid. Not anymore; right now your Raid Leader has a deep and abiding hatred for you. It’s not some form of general hatred for raiders, or anything simple like that – it’s deep and it’s personal and it’s individual. Your Raid Leader hates you entirely for being you.
Are you the person who makes “that’s what she said” jokes when your Raid Leader is trying to motivate the raid after a bad wipe? To steal a phrase from Anafielle, “I’m firing up the hate machine”.
How about that raider that takes off his headset in between pulls, and then comes up with the brilliant idea to use the strategy he didn’t know the rest of the raid has been using for three pulls now? A little part of your Raid Leader’s soul just died, and there aren’t many pieces left.
Relentlessly negative guy? Relentlessly positive guy? You both suck. Argumentative guy? Die in a fire. Which brings us to Die In a Fire Guy. Oh, Die In a Fire Guy… your Raid Leader dreams about the day there’s a good app from your class, but unfortunately they seem really hard to find right now.
Overly defensive guy? Dude, you screwed up, take your beating like a man.
Are you a former Raid Leader? Oh, there’s a special hell for you. You know the pain your Raid Leader is going through every minute of every raid, and all you can contribute is “We didn’t do it like this in my guild.” Dante would have written a whole extra volume if he knew about you.
Are you The Fidgeter? You can’t help but strafe left and right over and over again while DPSing, even though there’s strictly assigned positions and spacing requirements? Raid Leader wants to line your chair with sandpaper. That’ll cure the fidgeting.
Rage guy? Believe it or not, your Raid Leader has a soft spot for you. The rest of the raid hates you, but your Raid Leader feels like you really Get It. So thanks, Rage Guy. We really do love you, even if we can’t show it.
Apologize for tiny mistakes while the pull is still going guy? SHUT UP HOLY GOD PLEASE JUST SHUT UP WE’RE BUSY FUCK WE JUST WIPED I HATE YOU.
Which brings us to the Raid MVP. You’re the guy who just can’t help but explain how awesome that thing he just did was, did we all just see that? Yes. And we saw the attempts before where you were trying to pull it off and got people killed. Congratulations, Champ.
WoW Lore Nerd Guy? Your Raid Leader doesn’t care that Sinestra, or more properly Sintharia, is the second cousin twice removed to Tyrion’s nephew’s kindergarten teacher’s second husband’s pet breeder. But we care that you think that’s more important to talk about than how you just killed the whole raid.
How about deeply convoluted strategy guy? You’re probably a computer programmer or something, you’ll start coming up with ideas with a million different “if, then” conditionals that can’t possibly work because no one else will remember them all? Raid Leader wants you to stick your head up your ass and check for recursive loops there.
After a couple of months, your poor tormented Raid Leader only barely knows you by name. He or she just thinks of you by a little pet name based on what they hate most about you.
You might be an officer – no matter what your Raid Leader says, there’s an extra special level of hate your Raid Leader has for you. Because your Raid Leader has certain expectations from the officers, and you never ever fail to let him down. He wants more from you, he believes that he deserves more from you, and you continually let him down.
It’s probably not entirely your fault. I’m sure you’re a great person. But your Raid Leader thinks you’re terrible.